Bullshit Bingo

A little something to amuse you in between…

Do you know Bullshit Bingo? You don’t?

Then let us assure you that you already do indeed. Even without knowing that it is constantly played all around us. After all, professional Bullshit Bingo is an indispensable part of the IT business. Because there are so many wonderful specialist terms and Anglicisms with which you can garnish your statements – or even obscure them. Who doesn’t know them, those colleagues who hide behind trendy specialist terms and are not averse to masking what is actually a shallow statement with German-English (in German known as “Denglisch”) to make it sound much smarter?

Bullshit Bingo probably had its beginnings in around 1993 at Silicon Graphics, when head scientist Tom Davis wrote a C program for producing bingo cards full of presentation keywords. This game was not the first such variant, however. It seems that it was already doing the rounds in 1982 in Yale, albeit under the slightly different name “Turkey Bingo”.

5 spontaneous terms for your personal Bullshit Bingo

So what springs to mind?  We have compiled a brief (and spontaneous) list of 5 really typical show-off terms, complete with explanations that are not meant all too seriously but are perhaps all too honest:

  1. At the end of the day…yes precisely that. Everything is bound to turn out well. Also popularly used by Germans in its English form as well. What sounds so confident has just one crucial snag. First, it is not made completely clear what will actually happen at the end of the day. And secondly, what day is actually meant? Today, tomorrow or the day of a blue moon? We can look forward to finding out…
  2. That is Big Data … sure, of course. Everything is Big Data. Not to be confused with Small Data. Basically, Big Data refers to volumes of data that are too huge, too complex, too fast-paced or too weakly structured. Wow. That really sounds like quite a lot. In actual fact the term doesn’t provide any indication whatsoever as to the quality of the data or their usability. Let alone how manipulable these data are.
  3. On the flow … again: wow. Everything is in flux, one might think, and maybe that’s true as well. After all, change is indeed permanent. But when someone promises that “we’ll doing that on the flow”, he means quasi in passing. Sounds more like ‘with ease’. But be careful – in the sphere of psychology the term ‘flow’ rather refers to a state of maximum concentration. Which, basically, is the opposite of the first interpretation. Here also an alternative proposal from the educational corner: en passant – every avid chess player will thank you for it.
  4. Analytics … A dinosaur among the said buzzwords, analytics nevertheless still enjoys wide popularity. The term describes the concept of the identification, interpretation and communication of data patterns. This is precisely where it gets exciting. For what sounds important and good is in most cases only used in a distorted way, because all too often the pure identification of information is subsumed by way of ‘analytics’. Not, however, the derivation of clear actions, let alone the explanation thereof.
  5. Real-time … well then. In most cases this buzzword is actually used when it comes to the timely or simultaneous execution of functions. Right, that’s promising – but only makes for the one or the other problem. For example the question as to why it is called ‘real’ of all things. Does this then mean that a period in the past is less real because it has already taken place? Or is the future not approaching us equally as clearly? Good, these are arguably German quibbles. Nevertheless, “real-time” does give rise to a little problem – because what happens to the incomplete entries? Or to those that are to be cancelled? Or how do I view closed posting periods? Admittedly, all things that you can take into consideration. And that is precisely the point – we should be aware of that and take care …

So, those were our five spontaneous terms for personal Bullshit Bingo … Maybe you know other terms that you might wish to share with us? Drop us a line!

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